Star crossed - But I can't have you -Phan-
by kittyxuchiha11
Summary: This is a little oneshot i wrote for a contest on DeviantArt and decided to share it with you guys as well. yeah, sorry


It's only an old myth. That's what they say. It's believed that if two star crossed lovers die in an attempt to be together, they are reincarnated in forms in which they can be together forever.

Twins.

Yeah, you heard that right.

You're reincarnated and only have this sort of feeling that you know your twin more than everyone else. That you have this connection that no one else can understand.

That's what it's like. That's what it's like with Dan and I.

We grew up together, never being apart. He's my twin, of course we stayed together. Unlike other twins, we liked everything the same. We liked everything from TV shows to our favourite sites on the internet. It seemed like we were absolutely perfect for each other.

I think we both knew deep down what this was. That the way we were, It wasn't how twins are supposed to be. You were supposed to love your twin in a family way. Not love him in this way.

As we grew from children to teenagers, it became harder. It became harder for me to keep my hands of Dan. Mum didn't notice at first. They just always commented on how much of a nice bond we had.

We tried our hardest to keep it family love. It was impossible though. I loved him, I really did. This was so forbidden, so…illegal.

But that didn't stop me.

I wanted him.

I wanted him more than anything else in the world. I would sell my soul just to be able to hold him in my arms and kiss him.

I could tell he felt the same way. The little looks he gave me across the dinner table every night. It was torture. Torture for both of us. The worst part was when we went to bed every night. We shared a room. We had our own beds but…even being in the same room as him.

We would say our goodnights, smiling at each other. Then there would be that moment when our eyes locked. He would gulp, try to look away but he couldn't. I couldn't either. Just stuck there in time. Staring at each other.

This would happen every god damn night until one of us would have the will power to look away.

It was complete torture.

Then came the day. It was a normal day. Well, normal if you count waking up with your brother snuggled up to you in bed. I just lay there. Not wanting to wake him up because I knew this would end. If mum saw us just now, I don't think she would have figured it out. It was winter. It was cold. We often shared a bed in the winter months to keep warm. We'd done it since we were kids.

But as a teenager, this wasn't so cute. This just made it hurt all the more. The dull ache in my heart growing with intensity as he pressed himself closer to me.

I had to do something. I couldn't have him here without losing it. All my self control was definitely going to be lost if I didn't do something.

"Dan…" I whispered softly, turning onto my side to face the sleeping boy. He stirred slightly, keeping his eyes closed. I reached up a hand to touch his arm but let it hover there. One touch could be the thing to make me lose it.

I can't do it.

"Dan. Wake up"

His eyes fluttered open lazily. He blinked a few times before his eyes locked with mine.

Crap.

I couldn't look away now. His face was only inches from mine and I couldn't stop myself. My mind was screaming no, that I couldn't do this. He's my brother. No, he's so much more than that. My mind screamed but my body would not obey.

"Dan…" it was all I could say as I slowly leaned in. I captured his lips in a soft kiss. He immediately kissed back, moving a hand up my arm then gently tangled his fingers in my hair. My eyes closed as so did his.

This was so, so wrong.

But I couldn't care less.

I finally had what I had waited years for.

Him.

"Phil. No, we can't do this" he said softly. The distress was obvious in his voice, even the look on his face shoed how he was feeling.

"But, I love you"

"I know…I know. I love you too"

Tears began to cloud my vision as I stared into his eyes "It's not fair. I love you. I want to be with you. It's not fair" I began to sob.

"I know…I love you too…it isn't fair"

I pressed my lips against his again, tears now freely running down my cheeks. "Kiss me, please. I love you. Please"

He locked into my eyes one last time before kissing me passionately. He pulled me closer, tugging me so close until our legs were tangled together and our tongues could explore each others mouths freely.

That was the day I felt true happiness. But true happiness never last long. We soon got caught.

We didn't think anyone was in so we were kissing in the kitchen. That's when mum saw us. Safe to say she freaked out, a lot. Dan got sent away to live with dad who lived on the other side of the country. We were completely forbidden to ever see each other again.

And so the tale of the star crossed lovers ends. Ending with the worst imaginable ending. He's my soul mate. I can't live without him.

So, Dan. By the time you get this letter I'll be gone. I don't now why I decided to write all this down for you. It's our story, I guess. I just wanted to write this all to you, give you something to remember our story by. I'll be gone soon. I'm going to make sure this gets posted to you then it'll happen. You'll know though. You're my soul mate, you know when I'm in trouble or upset. You'll know.

You'll know when I'm bleeding death and no one can save me. You'll know. Dan.

You'll just know.

We are star crossed lovers after all.


End file.
